Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I have moved my blog to . Do pop by!

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 12:58 AM | |

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Heart of a Youth Worker

"Step forward to make a difference to yourselves, to your fellow citizens and to Singapore."

-PM Lee's call to younger Singaporeans, during his swearing-in speech on 12 Aug 2004

I started to get involved in youth work last June when Amos and Joshua Teo introduced to me, the service-learning platform. I recalled that it was just after my encounter and what made me convicted to start serving was God’s word for me during the encounter. He told me to step out of my comfort zone and start serving; the time was ripe for me to start giving, instead of just receiving. Not fully cognizant of what God is trying to tell me, I was hesitant in obeying His word but I am glad that after much encouragement from my spiritual father and uncles, I took the step of faith.
My first service was with First Toa Payoh Secondary School students. They had undergone a service-learning (CLASS) camp and were embarking on a project. I was attached to Joshua Teo’s group and I observed how he conducted the service and facilitated the group’s learning. I was really intrigued by the apparent simplicity of the service-learning concept; though it only consists of twin objectives (SOLO), yet this concept reinforces learning and at the same time, helps the students to meet real needs of the community through their service. Furthermore, I also benefited from the service. I recalled setting my own SOLO then and after facilitation by Camilla, I managed to derive learning from the whole experience through the five stages of EL cycle. I was amazed that the mentors and the students alike were able to draw out learning points because learning was made intentional (if by now, you are clueless what I am talking about, then it’s high time you go up to your leader and ask him/her to sign you up for the next S-L course!)
However, I went through my baptism of fire only right after my S-L training in Oct 2005; I was assigned to be a mentor for a MOE camp for SM2 students. My only thought then was: “how am I going to do it alone?” But of course, I was not left to be low and dry. With encouragement and God’s grace, I came through it, albeit with disappointments at times. Even right now, after being through two subsequent camps, I question myself, why do I have to subject myself to all these roller-coaster emotions. Then God’s word to me during the encounter would come to mind.
I think what keeps me afloat, besides obeying God, is also knowing that God has shaped me to make a difference to the youths. I have a story of redemption to tell, of how I struggled with my broken life and of the miracle of life I experienced when He came to fix it.
The pain, rejection, loneliness and despair that the youths experience, I can identify with. Even more so, the bleakness and desolation that one feels when no one can understand him and he has no one to turn to. He can neither turn left nor right and the only way is to look to God. Yet no one points him to the Messiah.
I am eternally grateful to my spiritual father, Teck Horng, who has led me back to the Shepherd. With him, there is also a great redemption story to tell of. The person I abhorred in my teenage years and subjected me to much humiliation turned out to be the very person I call father fondly today! What else can I say, God?
After much reminiscing and reflection of the journey of my life, I can only thank God for being mindful of me. It is His amazing grace has saved me from weeping and gnashing of teeth. Thus it is with His grace gifted to me that my heart can be replenished of His love for the youths who yearn for a God who would love them the way He loves me. No matter what the disappointment and suffering I would face as a youth worker, His grace is sufficient for me.
A heart of compassion is paramount to taking the vantage point in the field of youth work. At the same time, a heart that perceives faith is also important. To me, faith is knowing that God has shaped me for this assignment even though I am not equipped yet. I remembered that Ps. Melvyn Mak mentioned before that God will not waste a hurt in our lives and I believe so, in my heart.
To conclude, I am reminded of God’s Word to me in my first S-L camp as a mentor:

3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings [c]
and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Psalms 8:3-9

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 3:24 PM | |

Monday, April 17, 2006

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate inthe divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:04 PM | |

Friday, April 07, 2006

Bugle call. Last Post.

Been reflecting the past few weeks. Been reminiscing the past 4 years of my life. In this brick-red port-of-call where I have docked my weary body. After a day of roughing out the raging torrents of challenges. Where the raging seas are calmed. My fears assuaged. My courage stoked. My will renewed. Ode to Eusoff.

Yet what maketh her! The elusive Eusoff spirit? Past glory and honour? The motto "Excellence and Harmony"? Hogwash and swill?

No, none of the above. Eusoffians maketh Eusoff. The time has come for my contemporaries to do the curtain call, to the haunting tunes of 'The Last Post'. Bygone are the days of yore; bygone is the awe of the anthem, 'Eusoff to the fore'.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 2:29 PM | |

The Last Stand

Where straight paths are made for who is to come;
Where they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint;
Where streams of joy run in the wastelands of pain;
Where they go into strict training to win the prize of their lives;
Where the garden of life lies beyond the valley of death;
Where they stumble and fall but stand tall;
Where the voices of yore
resound in awe
of who is to come.

Mar 2006

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 2:21 PM | |

The Stand

You stood before Creation
Eternity in Your Hand
You spoke the world into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart oh God
Completely to You

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Joel Houston

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 2:11 PM | |

Monday, March 27, 2006

When he took the three disciples
to the mountainside to pray,
his countenance was modified, his clothing was aflame.
Two men appeared: Moses and Elijah came;
they were at his side.
The prophecy, the legislation spoke of whenever he would die.

Then there came a word
of what he should accomplish on the day.
Then Peter spoke, to make of them a tabernacle place.
A cloud appeared in glory as an accolade.
They fell on the ground.
A voice arrived, the voice of God, the face of God, covered in a cloud.

What he said to them,
the voice of God: the most beloved son.
Consider what he says to you, consider what's to come.
The prophecy was put to death,
was put to death, and so will the Son.
And keep your word, disguise the vision 'till the time has come.

Lost in the cloud, a voice. Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Turn your ear.
Lost in the cloud, a voice. Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Son of God!

Sufjan Stevens

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 3:34 PM | |

Saturday, March 25, 2006

The Lord spoke to me in a dramatic way today.

Was really downcasted and feeling that the impossible has weighed down on me.

Then I revisited Exo 12:22-23 which Ps Cesar talked about during the G12 conference.

He talked about applying the Blood of the Lamb over all areas of our lives - esp now that we have embarked on the Year of Conquests - the Evil One is not going to lie dormant but he will creep behind us and deliver backstabs when we are least alert and most vulnerable.

As I read on, on, on...

I read about Moses leading the Israelites into the Promised Land and how they were terrified when the Pharaoh went after them after the Lord caused his heart to harden.

The Israelites called out to the Lord and said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Eqypt....It would have been much better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

For the past week, in my conquest over my FYP, I found myself in no-man's land; I was unable to progress much in the project and even stagnated in my faith.

I believe there are bound to be many times in the next 3 months like this, leading up to Youthnet's Miracle Catch where we find ourselves neither here nor there.

We are driven to push out from our comfort zones and move into the dominions that God has called us to conquer but often we land up in a demilitarised zone where we feel weak and feeble.

We are powerless and weary to pick up our swords to fight or even if we fight, we are fighting windmills, like Don Quixote.

But the Lord spoke to me today!

In Exo 14:13, Moses assured the people not to be afraid, to stand firm and they will see the deliverance the Lord will bring them today. The Egyptians they see today they will never see again.

Immediately, I felt tears welling up.

Then Exo 14:14 capped it all. "The LORD will FIGHT for YOU; you need only to be STILL." I just began to weep like never before in months. Wonderful ministry in the Lord.

In this year of conquests, the Lord spoke to me greatly that I am not fighting this war by my own strength and might; He is the one waging the war and turning the perceived impossibles into miracles; He is the one turning the tide and transforming defeats into Glorious Victories.

And I believe this word is also for my spirtual family. In the midst of coming up with strategems and battle plans, we must not miss God in our ops plan. He is our Chief of Defence.

To end it all, Phi 2:13 says, "for it is God who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose." The will to conquest comes from God and His Hands will guide us to victories yet seen. Amen.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 12:32 PM | |

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Why was it necessary for Jesus to reveal God to us? Couldn't God have revealed Himself in a different way - a less costly way?

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 9:48 AM | |

"It was not merely that which Jesus did which glorified the Father. It was His willingness to be always available, to be forever giving of Himself, that glorified God."

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 9:45 AM | |

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labour; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the Lord. "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes." (Isa 54:1-2)

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 9:55 AM | |

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." (Heb 11:6)

faith is what bridges us into the divine realm, the supernatural, and brings us in tune with His ways and thoughts which are higher than ours. without this conviction to relate ourselves to Him, we are powerless in our striving arms to grip on the truths that will set us free, we are disabled in our weary legs to run our journeys of life to claim the prize at the end of the race; we need to wring ourselves off from the crutches of human logic n reasoning and start believing in the supernatural. His omnipotence is the divine answer to our impotence.

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

even faith is impossible. of which is abstract and unfathomable. indeed it is impossible to have faith conjured out of nowhere. where is this conviction, which can unlock forces to move mountains, to be found?

with God. all right we hav to start believing in God's omnipotence before we hav faith? ironically faith grows out of that small step we took when we accepted Christ into our lives.

on a parting note someone once told me that developing faith is like exercising the muscles. the more we work at it, the more powerful we move. big move, here we go!

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:57 AM | |

Monday, February 27, 2006

aye my FYP poster. Gonna hav a poster presentation next week.

well the Lord answered my prayer... i had wanted to finish it by today and i thought i needed at least a full day of work to come out with the design and contents. so by4pm, when i did not hav the slightest idea of how my poster would be like, i knew i had to go to Him again even though i had prayed about it in the morning. exhausted by then, i went to take a siesta before havin dinner and then chatted with some hostel mates. as i went back to my workstation, it seemed that the creative gene in me was switched on and expressed. so whoah aft 3 hrs of work, i managed to come up with a poster! Thank the Lord! oh yeah i even had time to squeeze in a 7km run! lesson: pray with faith knowing that the Lord will answer and pray with perseverance till sth happens.

so hav u prayed abt sth that is not resolved? why wait...

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 11:40 PM | |

Friday, February 24, 2006

Search me O GOD, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:47 AM | |

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire
besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Saved by Your mercy,
found in Your grace.

Totally surrendered to Your embrace.

And there's nothing more than You.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 2:32 PM | |

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

My devotion verses for the day:
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:7-8)

christian obedience calls for first and foremost, submission of ourselves. derived from the greek word "upotaghte" meaning to arrange in a military fashion under the command of a leader, the word "submit" carries with it the notion of voluntarily giving up one's control. so who do we abdicate our will to in place of our over-arching selves? the answer can only be God. it is when we deny the gratification of our sinful nature and walking out of darkness into His wonderful light, that we derive the strength to fight the evil one without reservations. lets wage a good fight today and all the days of our lives!

all in all, imho, true christian living calls for obedience to The Living Word which renders even demons' submission.

16"He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects you rejects me; but he who rejects me rejects him who sent me."17The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." (Luke 10:16-17)

on another note, i have resolved myself to seek reconciliation from persons in hall whom i have no peace with atm, even as the last epsiodes of a melodrama taking place in Eusoff Hall for the past three years of my life- and whose script are being applied with the finishing touches by the divine scriptwriter - are unfolding. one of many submission acts to God that i hav set out to do.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 9:59 AM | |

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What The World Will Never Take

With all I'm holding inside
With all my hopes and desires
And all the dreams that I've dreamt

With all I'm hoping to be
And all that the world will bring
And all that fails to compare

You say You want all of me
I wouldn't have it any other way

I've got a Saviour and He's living in me

I wanna know
I wanna know You today

And You're the best thing that has happened to me
And the world will never take
The world will never take You away

No one could ever take You away

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 1:18 PM | |

Monday, February 20, 2006

Day 1 Sanctification Week

Tribe meeting
Tissue engineering scaffold that I fabricated

Before splish splash


i m back after a hiatus of a month. well guess i've been struck wif writer's block for the longest of time; just did not hav any conviction to conjure postings. phew so much happened in the space of a 'splish splash' on 20 Jan, my firsts in leading worship and prayer meeting for Eusoff Hall cell, CNY, conclusion of my final year research project on tissue engineering, inaugural tribe meeting at Expo, participation in celebration team starting on 5 Feb, first time presenting a lecture to a class, Sanctification Week culminating in the Tabernacle Encounter.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:34 PM | |

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

this's the baptism gift from my aunt, Jeannette and uncle, Eugene.

The book that Teck Horng & Weeming has given to me for my baptism

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:08 AM | |

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Zhng My Blog!

i m officially sick of my blog design. need an overhaul. any aspiring web designers who can help me?? personally i like minimalistic designs and subtle colours..sth like this is what i want

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 1:44 PM | |

Friday, January 20, 2006

1981: Eric was born
1988:Enters primary school
1990: Got to know the Lord through Boys' Brigade
1994: Enters secondary school and backslided
1995: Got acquainted with Teck Horng
1998: Enters JC
2000: Conscripted
early 2002: Released
late 2002: Enters NUS
2003: Got accepted into Eusoff Hall and a second stab at Christendom
2004: Reacquainted with Teck Horng again and became his spiritual son
2004-present: Trials and tribulations
Jan 2006: Baptized finally! Renamed Eric Paul

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 11:51 PM | |

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Michelangelo's interpretation of Heaven

imagining myself as a reader of this blog, i sometimes would think why this dude here has nothing to sensational to write about. where are the struggles, disappointments, bitchings, ramblings, lamentations, gossip, rumor-mongering, diatribes, sceptism, hurly-burly that are a mark of a blog with wide readership; one which inspires feelings of resonance in this downtrodden, wretched fallen world, or even prompt the reader to have misconstrued views of certain issues/persons, and worse still, feed the black dogs in voyeuristic individuals who like to peep in between the shower curtains to have a glimpse into the blogger's private cubicle.

yeah yeah yeah, this blog is boring. but Eric, aka narcolepsy, writer of this blog, deliberately made it so. if you want raunchy stuff, razzmatazz, or raspberry swirls on your vanilla sky, this is not your 300-second heaven (but i pray that it reminds u of the existence of Heaven).

which is easier? writin abt edifyin stuff or abt stuff that stumbles? i submit to everyone tt it is definitely easier to lambast than to rejoice. why? aye ask yrself that question, c'mon..

even Christians don't hav it easier in life, this lifetime. we trip over a stone and fall. we pick ourselves up and stumble yet again, over a bigger stone. "A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall."[d] They stumble because they disobey the message - which is also what they were destined for. (1 Peter 2:5) but yet the scars from these falls aren't there to stumble us, to remind ourselves of existences "writ in water", in the words of John Keats. I believe the stones are sprinkled on the path to Heaven, for us to overcome. arming ourselves with this perspective is crucial to wagin the battle of our minds. the score reads Satan 1:0 God when we trip over these stones n never truly get up again.

don't mistake me in thinking that we should always feel joyful in spite of all circumstances. it's even pretence and dishonesty on our part if we choose not to walk in truth. what i m drivin at is a sense of marred joy that comes from recognising the emotional pain, but at the same time knowing that when we pick up ourselves, we have emerged victors over the principalities that bind us down on our road to Heaven. We are hardpressed but not crushed.

i'd end this entry off with this verse from 2 Cor 4:16-18.

wala... 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 10:06 AM | |

Monday, January 16, 2006

Kings of Convenience in S'pore!

Good: aye one of my fav acts is comin to town, albeit in Mar..16th to be exact. performing in the Mosaic Music Festival at Esplanade. see for details.

Bad: oh well i can't go cos the G12 conference will be on. sigh. oh well oh well, it is well.

posted by [ narcolepsy ] | 12:32 PM | |

seems like salvation
salvation (noun) The saving of the soul; the deliverance from sin and its consequences, and admission to eternal bliss, wrought for man by the atonement of Christ.