dream theatre

Vroooommmmm

2007-01-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

I have moved my blog to http://damascusmercy.blogspot.com . Do pop by!

2006-05-27T15:24:00.000+08:00

Heart of a Youth Worker

"Step forward to make a difference to yourselves, to your fellow citizens and to Singapore."

-PM Lee's call to younger Singaporeans, during his swearing-in speech on 12 Aug 2004

I started to get involved in youth work last June when Amos and Joshua Teo introduced to me, the service-learning platform. I recalled that it was just after my encounter and what made me convicted to start serving was God’s word for me during the encounter. He told me to step out of my comfort zone and start serving; the time was ripe for me to start giving, instead of just receiving. Not fully cognizant of what God is trying to tell me, I was hesitant in obeying His word but I am glad that after much encouragement from my spiritual father and uncles, I took the step of faith.
My first service was with First Toa Payoh Secondary School students. They had undergone a service-learning (CLASS) camp and were embarking on a project. I was attached to Joshua Teo’s group and I observed how he conducted the service and facilitated the group’s learning. I was really intrigued by the apparent simplicity of the service-learning concept; though it only consists of twin objectives (SOLO), yet this concept reinforces learning and at the same time, helps the students to meet real needs of the community through their service. Furthermore, I also benefited from the service. I recalled setting my own SOLO then and after facilitation by Camilla, I managed to derive learning from the whole experience through the five stages of EL cycle. I was amazed that the mentors and the students alike were able to draw out learning points because learning was made intentional (if by now, you are clueless what I am talking about, then it’s high time you go up to your leader and ask him/her to sign you up for the next S-L course!)
However, I went through my baptism of fire only right after my S-L training in Oct 2005; I was assigned to be a mentor for a MOE camp for SM2 students. My only thought then was: “how am I going to do it alone?” But of course, I was not left to be low and dry. With encouragement and God’s grace, I came through it, albeit with disappointments at times. Even right now, after being through two subsequent camps, I question myself, why do I have to subject myself to all these roller-coaster emotions. Then God’s word to me during the encounter would come to mind.
I think what keeps me afloat, besides obeying God, is also knowing that God has shaped me to make a difference to the youths. I have a story of redemption to tell, of how I struggled with my broken life and of the miracle of life I experienced when He came to fix it.
The pain, rejection, loneliness and despair that the youths experience, I can identify with. Even more so, the bleakness and desolation that one feels when no one can understand him and he has no one to turn to. He can neither turn left nor right and the only way is to look to God. Yet no one points him to the Messiah.
I am eternally grateful to my spiritual father, Teck Horng, who has led me back to the Shepherd. With him, there is also a great redemption story to tell of. The person I abhorred in my teenage years and subjected me to much humiliation turned out to be the very person I call father fondly today! What else can I say, God?
After much reminiscing and reflection of the journey of my life, I can only thank God for being mindful of me. It is His amazing grace has saved me from weeping and gnashing of teeth. Thus it is with His grace gifted to me that my heart can be replenished of His love for the youths who yearn for a God who would love them the way He loves me. No matter what the disappointment and suffering I would face as a youth worker, His grace is sufficient for me.
A heart of compassion is paramount to taking the vantage point in the field of youth work. At the same time, a heart that perceives faith is also important. To me, faith is knowing that God has shaped me for this assignment even though I am not equipped yet. I remembered that Ps. Melvyn Mak mentioned before that God will not waste a hurt in our lives and I believe so, in my heart.
To conclude, I am reminded of God’s Word to me in my first S-L camp as a mentor:

3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings [c]
and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Psalms 8:3-9

2006-04-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate inthe divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

2006-04-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

Bugle call. Last Post.

Been reflecting the past few weeks. Been reminiscing the past 4 years of my life. In this brick-red port-of-call where I have docked my weary body. After a day of roughing out the raging torrents of challenges. Where the raging seas are calmed. My fears assuaged. My courage stoked. My will renewed. Ode to Eusoff.

Yet what maketh her! The elusive Eusoff spirit? Past glory and honour? The motto "Excellence and Harmony"? Hogwash and swill?

No, none of the above. Eusoffians maketh Eusoff. The time has come for my contemporaries to do the curtain call, to the haunting tunes of 'The Last Post'. Bygone are the days of yore; bygone is the awe of the anthem, 'Eusoff to the fore'.

2006-04-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

The Last Stand

Where straight paths are made for who is to come;
Where they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint;
Where streams of joy run in the wastelands of pain;
Where they go into strict training to win the prize of their lives;
Where the garden of life lies beyond the valley of death;
Where they stumble and fall but stand tall;
Where the voices of yore
resound in awe
of who is to come.

Eric
Mar 2006

2006-04-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

The Stand

You stood before Creation
Eternity in Your Hand
You spoke the world into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart oh God
Completely to You

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Joel Houston

2006-03-27T15:34:00.000+08:00

When he took the three disciples
to the mountainside to pray,
his countenance was modified, his clothing was aflame.
Two men appeared: Moses and Elijah came;
they were at his side.
The prophecy, the legislation spoke of whenever he would die.

Then there came a word
of what he should accomplish on the day.
Then Peter spoke, to make of them a tabernacle place.
A cloud appeared in glory as an accolade.
They fell on the ground.
A voice arrived, the voice of God, the face of God, covered in a cloud.

What he said to them,
the voice of God: the most beloved son.
Consider what he says to you, consider what's to come.
The prophecy was put to death,
was put to death, and so will the Son.
And keep your word, disguise the vision 'till the time has come.

Lost in the cloud, a voice. Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Turn your ear.
Lost in the cloud, a voice. Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Son of God!

Sufjan Stevens

2006-03-25T12:32:00.000+08:00

The Lord spoke to me in a dramatic way today.

Was really downcasted and feeling that the impossible has weighed down on me.

Then I revisited Exo 12:22-23 which Ps Cesar talked about during the G12 conference.

He talked about applying the Blood of the Lamb over all areas of our lives - esp now that we have embarked on the Year of Conquests - the Evil One is not going to lie dormant but he will creep behind us and deliver backstabs when we are least alert and most vulnerable.

As I read on, on, on...

I read about Moses leading the Israelites into the Promised Land and how they were terrified when the Pharaoh went after them after the Lord caused his heart to harden.

The Israelites called out to the Lord and said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Eqypt....It would have been much better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

For the past week, in my conquest over my FYP, I found myself in no-man's land; I was unable to progress much in the project and even stagnated in my faith.

I believe there are bound to be many times in the next 3 months like this, leading up to Youthnet's Miracle Catch where we find ourselves neither here nor there.

We are driven to push out from our comfort zones and move into the dominions that God has called us to conquer but often we land up in a demilitarised zone where we feel weak and feeble.

We are powerless and weary to pick up our swords to fight or even if we fight, we are fighting windmills, like Don Quixote.

But the Lord spoke to me today!

In Exo 14:13, Moses assured the people not to be afraid, to stand firm and they will see the deliverance the Lord will bring them today. The Egyptians they see today they will never see again.

Immediately, I felt tears welling up.

Then Exo 14:14 capped it all. "The LORD will FIGHT for YOU; you need only to be STILL." I just began to weep like never before in months. Wonderful ministry in the Lord.

In this year of conquests, the Lord spoke to me greatly that I am not fighting this war by my own strength and might; He is the one waging the war and turning the perceived impossibles into miracles; He is the one turning the tide and transforming defeats into Glorious Victories.

And I believe this word is also for my spirtual family. In the midst of coming up with strategems and battle plans, we must not miss God in our ops plan. He is our Chief of Defence.

To end it all, Phi 2:13 says, "for it is God who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose." The will to conquest comes from God and His Hands will guide us to victories yet seen. Amen.

2006-03-21T09:48:00.000+08:00

Why was it necessary for Jesus to reveal God to us? Couldn't God have revealed Himself in a different way - a less costly way?

2006-03-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

"It was not merely that which Jesus did which glorified the Father. It was His willingness to be always available, to be forever giving of Himself, that glorified God."

2006-03-08T09:55:00.000+08:00

"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labour; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the Lord. "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes." (Isa 54:1-2)

2006-02-28T10:57:00.000+08:00

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." (Heb 11:6)

faith is what bridges us into the divine realm, the supernatural, and brings us in tune with His ways and thoughts which are higher than ours. without this conviction to relate ourselves to Him, we are powerless in our striving arms to grip on the truths that will set us free, we are disabled in our weary legs to run our journeys of life to claim the prize at the end of the race; we need to wring ourselves off from the crutches of human logic n reasoning and start believing in the supernatural. His omnipotence is the divine answer to our impotence.

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

even faith is impossible. of which is abstract and unfathomable. indeed it is impossible to have faith conjured out of nowhere. where is this conviction, which can unlock forces to move mountains, to be found?

with God. all right we hav to start believing in God's omnipotence before we hav faith? ironically faith grows out of that small step we took when we accepted Christ into our lives.

on a parting note someone once told me that developing faith is like exercising the muscles. the more we work at it, the more powerful we move. big move, here we go!

2006-02-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

aye my FYP poster. Gonna hav a poster presentation next week.

well the Lord answered my prayer... i had wanted to finish it by today and i thought i needed at least a full day of work to come out with the design and contents. so by4pm, when i did not hav the slightest idea of how my poster would be like, i knew i had to go to Him again even though i had prayed about it in the morning. exhausted by then, i went to take a siesta before havin dinner and then chatted with some hostel mates. as i went back to my workstation, it seemed that the creative gene in me was switched on and expressed. so whoah aft 3 hrs of work, i managed to come up with a poster! Thank the Lord! oh yeah i even had time to squeeze in a 7km run! lesson: pray with faith knowing that the Lord will answer and pray with perseverance till sth happens.

so hav u prayed abt sth that is not resolved? why wait...

2006-02-24T10:47:00.000+08:00

Search me O GOD, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

2006-02-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire
besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Saved by Your mercy,
found in Your grace.

Totally surrendered to Your embrace.

And there's nothing more than You.

2006-02-22T09:59:00.000+08:00

My devotion verses for the day:
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:7-8)

christian obedience calls for first and foremost, submission of ourselves. derived from the greek word "upotaghte" meaning to arrange in a military fashion under the command of a leader, the word "submit" carries with it the notion of voluntarily giving up one's control. so who do we abdicate our will to in place of our over-arching selves? the answer can only be God. it is when we deny the gratification of our sinful nature and walking out of darkness into His wonderful light, that we derive the strength to fight the evil one without reservations. lets wage a good fight today and all the days of our lives!

all in all, imho, true christian living calls for obedience to The Living Word which renders even demons' submission.

16"He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects you rejects me; but he who rejects me rejects him who sent me."17The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." (Luke 10:16-17)

on another note, i have resolved myself to seek reconciliation from persons in hall whom i have no peace with atm, even as the last epsiodes of a melodrama taking place in Eusoff Hall for the past three years of my life- and whose script are being applied with the finishing touches by the divine scriptwriter - are unfolding. one of many submission acts to God that i hav set out to do.

2006-02-21T13:18:00.000+08:00

What The World Will Never Take

With all I'm holding inside
With all my hopes and desires
And all the dreams that I've dreamt

With all I'm hoping to be
And all that the world will bring
And all that fails to compare

You say You want all of me
I wouldn't have it any other way

I've got a Saviour and He's living in me
WHOA

I wanna know
I wanna know You today

And You're the best thing that has happened to me
And the world will never take
The world will never take You away

No one could ever take You away

2006-02-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

Day 1 Sanctification Week

Tribe meeting
Tissue engineering scaffold that I fabricated

Before splish splash

Tabernacle

i m back after a hiatus of a month. well guess i've been struck wif writer's block for the longest of time; just did not hav any conviction to conjure postings. phew so much happened in the space of a month..my 'splish splash' on 20 Jan, my firsts in leading worship and prayer meeting for Eusoff Hall cell, CNY, conclusion of my final year research project on tissue engineering, inaugural tribe meeting at Expo, participation in celebration team starting on 5 Feb, first time presenting a lecture to a class, Sanctification Week culminating in the Tabernacle Encounter.

2006-01-24T10:08:00.000+08:00

this's the baptism gift from my aunt, Jeannette and uncle, Eugene.

The book that Teck Horng & Weeming has given to me for my baptism

2006-01-21T13:44:00.000+08:00

Zhng My Blog!

i m officially sick of my blog design. need an overhaul. any aspiring web designers who can help me?? personally i like minimalistic designs and subtle colours..sth like this is what i want http://qwertyler.blogspot.com/

2006-01-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

1981: Eric was born
1988:Enters primary school
1990: Got to know the Lord through Boys' Brigade
1994: Enters secondary school and backslided
1995: Got acquainted with Teck Horng
1998: Enters JC
2000: Conscripted
early 2002: Released
late 2002: Enters NUS
2003: Got accepted into Eusoff Hall and a second stab at Christendom
2004: Reacquainted with Teck Horng again and became his spiritual son
2004-present: Trials and tribulations
Jan 2006: Baptized finally! Renamed Eric Paul

2006-01-17T10:06:00.000+08:00

Michelangelo's interpretation of Heaven

imagining myself as a reader of this blog, i sometimes would think why this dude here has nothing to sensational to write about. where are the struggles, disappointments, bitchings, ramblings, lamentations, gossip, rumor-mongering, diatribes, sceptism, hurly-burly that are a mark of a blog with wide readership; one which inspires feelings of resonance in this downtrodden, wretched fallen world, or even prompt the reader to have misconstrued views of certain issues/persons, and worse still, feed the black dogs in voyeuristic individuals who like to peep in between the shower curtains to have a glimpse into the blogger's private cubicle.

yeah yeah yeah, this blog is boring. but Eric, aka narcolepsy, writer of this blog, deliberately made it so. if you want raunchy stuff, razzmatazz, or raspberry swirls on your vanilla sky, this is not your 300-second heaven (but i pray that it reminds u of the existence of Heaven).

which is easier? writin abt edifyin stuff or abt stuff that stumbles? i submit to everyone tt it is definitely easier to lambast than to rejoice. why? aye ask yrself that question, c'mon..

even Christians don't hav it easier in life, this lifetime. we trip over a stone and fall. we pick ourselves up and stumble yet again, over a bigger stone. "A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall."[d] They stumble because they disobey the message - which is also what they were destined for. (1 Peter 2:5) but yet the scars from these falls aren't there to stumble us, to remind ourselves of existences "writ in water", in the words of John Keats. I believe the stones are sprinkled on the path to Heaven, for us to overcome. arming ourselves with this perspective is crucial to wagin the battle of our minds. the score reads Satan 1:0 God when we trip over these stones n never truly get up again.

don't mistake me in thinking that we should always feel joyful in spite of all circumstances. it's even pretence and dishonesty on our part if we choose not to walk in truth. what i m drivin at is a sense of marred joy that comes from recognising the emotional pain, but at the same time knowing that when we pick up ourselves, we have emerged victors over the principalities that bind us down on our road to Heaven. We are hardpressed but not crushed.

i'd end this entry off with this verse from 2 Cor 4:16-18.

wala... 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2006-01-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

Kings of Convenience in S'pore!

Good: aye one of my fav acts is comin to town, albeit in Mar..16th to be exact. performing in the Mosaic Music Festival at Esplanade. see http://www.mosaicmusicfestival.com/ for details.

Bad: oh well i can't go cos the G12 conference will be on. sigh. oh well oh well, it is well.

2006-01-01T10:09:00.000+08:00

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I will stand.

In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.

So I throw my life upon all You are,
Cos I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever.

And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.
With You, where the love lasts forever.

2005-12-31T16:45:00.000+08:00

Top 10 Hits 2005

1. "26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. " (John 14:26-27)

My spiritual father blessed me with this verse for the year 2005. The Holy Spirit, aka the silent sculptor, has indeed done a wonderful and miraculous work in me for the past year. He has convicted me to change my perceptions regarding a lot of issues, which I thought impossible in the past. Towards the end of 2005, I bought and read 'Good Morning, Holy Spirit' by Benny Hinn, which taught me much about His character and a better understanding of the Godhead.

2. "6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

This's another verse that my father blessed me with. My yoke was heavy but with Jesus, my burden seemed so much lighter these days!

3. "33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34)

A key verse that reminded me of my priority in life and subsequently helped me to keep my life simpler and my burden lighter.

4. "3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" (Psalms 8:3-4)

A verse that the Holy Spirit led me to during SM2 camp. Reminded me about God's wondrous love!

5. "11 And God said to him, "I am God Almighty [f] ; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body." (Genesis 35:11)

Guiding verse for the G12 vision of FCBC.

6. "21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. " (Philippians 1:21)

Paul's undying passion for Christ inspired him to pen this verse. I want to have the same passion.

7. "24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. " (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Fellowship is crucial to Christian life; I helped restart Eusoff Christian Fellowship in Aug with several like-minded hall mates cos 5 days in hall without God is unthinkable.

8. "7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you." (James 4:7-8)

Drawing near to God starts with our choice. God is not into the coercing business; no acts of compulsion can draw us near to God unless we are willing to draw close to Him.

9. "12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. " (Philippians 2:12-13)

We are justified to be righteous in God's eyes when we believe in Jesus Christ our saviour. However we still have to contend with the world for our process of sanctification, in this lifetime. The battle is on!

10. "13I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)

In all my weaknesses and inadequacies, I can seek solace from this verse, knowing that I can overcome all odds, with God's annointing.

2005-12-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

Our Equation

If i were to express the relationship between the
independent variable of you, and the dependent me,
the complex and imaginary terms will likely conquer
in this helpess effort to balance the addition of us
with all my iterations and no reciprocal.

If only i could draw tangents around the contours of your heart to cut me
a definite path,
a hypotenuse through the right angles into its depths,
then i'll differentiate the limiting conditions of your soul
and to embrace it all till nothing's left.

If only i could integrate your scattered attentions
into a single origin of me,
both of us so close as to undefine all units of measurement,
that i wish we can suspend ourselves in that moment, perfect
and tending to infinity.

a really beautiful poem written by my friend whom i admire for his literary exploits, thank God for alexan.

2005-12-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

PRC students serving the elderly

A group of 9 student volunteers from PRC and their mentor were at Toa Payoh Lorong 1 cleaning up the homes of 3 elderly residents this afternoon. These volunteers are taking part in a service learning project organised by Touch Youth Services and assisted by Touch Home Care, whom the 3 homes are under the charge of.

"I hope these students take with them, after this service, an added dimension towards community service; one which motivates them towards intentional learning in the process." Mr. Eric Yong, the mentor of the group, told High Times Daily.

Indeed, the students have taken the cue from their mentor as Mr. Wu Nan remarked,"We have set out to learn how to interact with the elderly even though there might be language barriers. Well we succeeded because though our client can only speak English, yet we could interact with him for more than 20 minutes!"

"Who says I can only speak English? I can speak 7 other languages, I just can't speak Mandarin!" quipped Mr. Bachan Singh in loud laughter.

It is hoped that these youths certainly learnt some valuable lessons through serving the community and that these values would also rub onto their peers.

2005-12-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

Orchard Light

Adam and Eve walked down the river of life in anticipation. This river was clearer than any they have seen for all of eternity; they could only catch glimpses as the ambient light reflected off the crystal clear water into their eyes.

"Look at the trees that lined both banks of the river," Adam remarked. "They look familiar...aren't they the same one we saw at Eden?"

There and then, an angel appeared in a brilliant envelope of light. "O divine tree of life. Twelve pleasing crops of fruit, they bear each year. Great leaves are good for healing, for your people. Removed are the curses, O ye faithful."

"We wait not in vain!" both Adam and Eve exclaimed in joyful outbursts.

In the far end of the land of Nod, as far as the river leads and their eyes could see, they spotted a singularity from which all light emnates from.

"Throne of God and of the Lamb, you have witnessed. Go now, He has been expecting you. All night has turned to day; all clay has turned to vessels, fit for His wine. Go now, my king and queen!"

2005-12-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

eric goes to camp part 1

he spent the highlight of his vacation in a camp organised by touch youth services for PRC students entering NUS & NTU next year. though beleaguered by his FYP on growing cell culture in 3D macroporous scaffold (in another words, tissue engineering), he manages to conjure his own magic n disappear from the lab to reappear at first toa payoh sec sch from 13-16 Dec.

during the 4 days, he tried to impart his tomes of knowledge on service learning, teamwork, leadership, plus some nifty magic tricks, short of pulling a rabbit out of a hat or levitating himself. along the way, some of the grp members under his charge decide to attempt the magical act of disappearing, without professional guidance. hence they could only reappear at a certain corner in the sch, in the comfort of a sofa.

nonetheless he hopes his grp members hav learnt that the greatest magic lies in their hearts which is best shaken and stirred by the dystopia that we live in.

eric goes to camp part 2

today he will be required to teleport to another camp when long attack is chanted. he will be decked in green and armed with his traveller's pack. he has no choice but to yield to the wizards' commands. hopefully the equally green wizards don't find fault with his dishevelled appearance and coiffed long hair.

2005-12-12T02:40:00.000+08:00

the big move of God for FCBC finally started, yes not ended. the best is yet to come! it might seem that finally having a 7000-seater in Expo is an end in itself but the youth service is still not filled completely yet!

i witnessed for myself how immensely enormously large MAX Pavilion is and really felt discouraged for a moment, at the possibility of filling up the auditorium. oh Lord how r we going to do it? interestingly as i put on my thinking cap, i realized Expo Hall 10 is not named MAX Pavilion coincidentally; someday as the Lord shows us His glory, this 7000-seater auditorium will be packed to the MAX!

meanwhile lets adopt a positive spirit of anticipation and celebration as we inch towards our faith goals, in His authority and with full confidence that God will fulfill His promises to the nations, the church and us.

2005-12-07T12:41:00.000+08:00

as the big move for FCBC to our new premises at Expo Max Pavilion approaches, it dawned on me that everything in my life has to grow in proportion n relation, in order to flow with God's plan and be aligned to God's timing or kairos. an oportune moment has indeed arrived for me to embrace the winds of change and power and be borne again.

what i desire most at this point of time is really to have the presence of God. though the flesh n worldly desires are always hindering me from a single-minded pursuit of God and His glory, deep down in my heart, delighting in His presence is what i truly want.

God the Father, Jesus Christ my Saviour and Holy Spirit my Counselor, show me Your glory!

2005-11-30T12:56:00.000+08:00

Did I Miss Anything

Tom Wayman

Did I Miss Anything

Question frequently asked by
students after missing a class
Nothing. When we realized you weren't here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours

Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 per cent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I'm about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent

Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like: any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose

Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring this good news to all people
on earth

Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?

Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human existence
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder

This is not the only place such an opportunity has been
gathered but it was one place

And you weren't here

2005-11-23T12:50:00.000+08:00

Think about His Love;
Think about His Grace;
Think about His Goodness;
That brought us through

How Great is our God;
How Great is our Father's Love;
How Wonderous is His Grace;
How can I forget

Even when I strayed away,
His Love has sought me out and found me.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

2005-11-10T12:29:00.000+08:00

Claiming our inheritance

Luke 15:25-32 (New International Version)

25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

___________________________________________________

the parable of the prodigal son. a parable that christians are all too familiar with, but i think it really speaks about the heart of God, His passion for the lost and unsaved. the earlier part of the parable from Luke 15:11-24 talked about how this younger son left his father after demanding his inheritance, which is btw a downright infilial act cos usu inheritance is given only when the father passes away. the younger son, after runnin away from his father, squandered his inheritance and came to be in need during a great famine.

so he 'came to his senses' (Luke 15:17) and decided to go back to his father to seek forgiveness. in another words he repented of his wrongdoing; the Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which means changin of perspective or, renewal of the mind. often we commit sins and come to our senses, thereby taking on a new point of view, that of God's. when we hav a renewed mind, we are transformed (Romans 12:2) and this is true repentance.

the father celebrated when his younger son returned, which is remarkable, considering the younger son's act of ignominy. the father even 'put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet', thereby restoring his son's authority and sonship. amazing, isn't it? this certainly speaks of God's wondrous grace. i m not certain if our biological parents will be able to emulate this act of grace under the same circumstances, but let's be very sure that this is God's character.

meanwhile the older son hears of his brother's return and becomes angry because of his father's apparent preferential treatment. however the father reacts by saying that, "'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. "

i think the parable is portraying the enormous love and grace of God, that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from (Romans 8:38-39). indeed the epitome of our faith lies in His immeasurable compassion for us. "But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." (Psalm 86:15) in comparison, our hearts are often narrow and unable to show as much grace, and be as forgiving as God. so let's ask from God to make all grace abound to us, so that in all things at all times, having all that we need, we will abound in every good work (2 Cor 9:8).

2005-11-07T22:56:00.000+08:00

IT IS WELL

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
I t is well, it is well with my soul

It is well (It is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

My sin, O the joy of this glorious thought
My sin not in part but the whole
Was nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul

And Lord, haste the day
When my faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall resound and The Lord shall descend
Even so it is well with my soul

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live;
If dark hours about me shall roll
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper
Thy peace to my soul.

~Horatio G. Spafford

2005-11-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

had a much-needed break from school the past few days but alas, i did not exactly spend time fruitfully. not much reflection was done for the past few days though much of the time was spent in solitude(my family's overseas). it struck me that though there's a sense of freedom arising from independence, i still felt like i m slave to something else..

in more ways than one, my desire to be master of my time is a microcosm of the fallen nature of man. we want to take charge of our time, finances, relationships, studies, and even (in my case) how much we want to give to God. 'dying of self' becomes a far-fetched concept which our minds can't seem to fathom cos it's hard to submit when there's nothing beneficial in sight. instant gratification. yes, that's we want hold on to dearly, even though we know faith in Him means pressing on to take hold of that one thing we can't see in this lifetime. that one thing which separates us into sheeps or goats (Matthew 25:33).

yeah above all else, if we can't submit with our hearts, we can submit with our minds. well obedience to God is nothing more than recognising His sovereignity and develop this fear in Him. this fear is not so much about incurring His wrath but has everything to do with reverence. Christ embodied this obedience: "And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:8) this's the gold standard of obedience that we strive for ain't it?

the apostle Paul exhorts: "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. "
(Philippians 2:12-13)

oh yes i m still working out my salvation in this present life even though my future salvation, in His Words, is finished. for all of my frailities, i can only be overjoyed that He will not give up on us.

just liken our life to be a car on a slope. God is the one pulling the handbrakes up, keeping us from slippin down into the abyss. so i pray that He will never let go of me as i work up my way into the gates of His kingdom. pray that for everyone u know, will ya?

2005-11-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

I received this sms yesterday:
_______________________

"Please pray for Pastor Ferdie Flores, a missionary in East Timor to be executed by beating today (Monday). Please forward to all Christians."

_______________________

checked with my christian friends and a substantial no. of them got this sms too. i did uphold this brother in prayer but did not proceed to fwd to my frens.

http://www.fbc-misawa.org/missionaries/Flores.htm

as i googled 'ferdie flores', i found his homepage. was kinda relieved with the message:

________________________

"Recent reports of the impending execution of Bro. Ferdie Flores are inaccurate. Prayer is requested for this family as they continue to deal with persecution from other religions on the island."

________________________

thank God the sms circulating ard was a hoax and i did not fwd it to my frens which might hav caused even more distress among christians. but this very incident just serves to tell us that God can indeed use technology for His purposes. gone were the days when the Gospel could only be spread by word of mouth and writings.

in light of frequent disasters and recent terrorist attacks, and even the recent beheading of 3 teenage christian girls in central sulawesi, we certainly can pray more for God to use these events to cause more unbelievers to be enter the gates of His kingdom.

lest that we r unable to find in our hearts to pray for the world, perhaps we can even start in the local context. for a start lets pray for more Godly men and women to rise up to influential postitions in our govt, defence forces, media, statutory boards, financial services, etc.

2005-10-17T16:03:00.000+08:00

The Enemy has been defeated. And death couldn't hold You down.

"I want to know Christ, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

B.A.C.K!

2005-10-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

Yes I m B.A.C.K with a new entry! My spiritual father has Beckoned At Christ's Kingdom with his newly-setup blog. So hopefully I'd do likewise and also let my blog point back to the kingdom of heaven. As Beck's beer advertisement goes "Life Beckons", i'd add that life indeed points back to our magnificent Creator.

Seems like ages ago that i wrote my last entry and so many things hav changed or Ive experienced much and grown too. All recollections of the 'dark ages' are what remains in this blog's past entries; I seem to forget my past experiences quite readily. As i look back on my life's episodes of soap opera interspersed in a theatre of nightmares, I just burst out laughing at myself. The Eric of yore was indeed one of naivety and parochiality. Indeed in retrospect, I just heaved a sigh of relief that I've learnt my lessons and came out of those quagmires a stronger Christian.

A new episode of my life has just begun: an episode that extends beyond this realm, this physical dimension of a broken utopia that we call Earth. YES, ETERNAL LIFE IS WHAT I M REFERRING TO. It starts here, now and continues to forever as long as we believe in Him.

"Now this is eternal life:that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent." John 17:3

2005-04-01T10:11:00.000+08:00

Through a Looking Glass

He ponders
life's wonders.
He is an equivocator,
Truth's provocateur.

*

I stop and marvel
at the Beauty of life's wonders.
Sigh, will it be over?
Of time yonder?

*

He looks through the looking glass,
amazed by the Goodness of life's wonders.
Weird fates he cross,
changed by Him forever.

~reptile

2005-02-19T12:03:00.000+08:00

In the “Garden of Love”, Blake tells a story in which the speaker visits the place he used to play in as a child and discovers a chapel there. By using a simple narrative, Blake flashes out the juxtaposition of childhood innocence and adult experience. Indeed he amplifies the intrusive and oppressive Church, and institutionalization of religion with the use of form; in three stanzas, he is able to express his contempt and disgust for the Church in an ingénue manner.

In the first stanza, the “Garden of Love” suggests a biblical allusion to the Garden of Eden; a place where pure love emanating from God to man, and innocence can be found. Hence this garden is like a sanctuary where the speaker can seek solace from the harsh realities of the world around him. Besides it is also a source of “joy and desires” for him. This imagery evokes positive images in the reader but turns awry when the speaker chances upon a chapel in the second line. The “Chapel” is a reference to the Church which imposes itself into the speaker’s private “Garden of Love”, a metaphorical reference to a place in the speaker’s heart.

In addition, the alliteration and accents on “saw” and “seen” in the second line cues the reader to the shock of the speaker upon witnessing the destruction of the last vestige of pure joys and innocence in his heart. It also alerts the reader to a shift in the speaker’s perspective, from a naïve and carefree child’s to a disgruntled and stigmatized adult’s. Thus this sound in the first stanza is significant in creating a turning point for the story in which the Church has usurped this sanctuary in Blake’s heart.

The theme of an intrusive Church is further elaborated on in the second stanza through the use of the imagery: “Thou shalt not.” All three words are stressed and slow down the rhythm of the poem. In fact, these three lines make up the beginning of each of the Ten Commandments. This is to signify that the speaker is disgusted at the Church for imposing rules and dictating every aspects of the Christian life. Notwithstanding, the Church even dictates the will of God and claims moral high ground over any issues in the society. All these have led to the killing of pleasures and passions the speaker used to have as a child.

“The gates of this Chapel were shut” in the same stanza drives a schism between the hoi polloi and God. The individual is robbed of a personal relationship with God [Christianity in essence] even after the establishment of a new covenant when Jesus Christ was crucified. Horrifyingly, the Walk with God in the “Garden of Love” is halted by the intrusion of the Church in the sanctuary and the imagery of the shut gates has the effect of erecting a barrier between man and God, as if Christianity is an esoteric religion. The speaker then has no choice but to resort to his own understanding of the world, built on the memories of his childhood: “So I . . . Garden of Love/That . . . sweet flowers bore.”

Moreover in a final coup de grace, the oppressive Church drives the lethal stake into the speaker’s heart because even what is left of the garden is “filled with graves” and “tombstones”, and invaded by “priests in black gowns.” These images paint a grim and bleak picture in which the speaker finds that the garden has degenerated into a dystopia and he can no longer find a return to innocence and pure love. On top of this, the priests who are like the custodians of the Ten Commandments, keep guard over the Chapel and prevent the common man from gaining a personal knowledge of God.

Lastly, the internal rhyme in the last two lines further emphasizes the on-going oppression of the Church which has no signs of abating. Indeed the assonance on “gowns” and “rounds” points to the routine operation of the priests and signifies that the damnation of the garden will not cease. Furthermore the addition of an extra fourth accent in the last two lines gives a closure effect and the speaker is resigned to his fate. The extra fourth accent also signifies that the Holy Trinity is now desecrated by the Church [ironically] and the “briars”, in allusion to the Crown of Thorns, suggest that the Church is bent on making man suffer from their sins and trapping them in a living Hell forever.

In conclusion Blake wrote this poem in protest to the Church of England’s stranglehold over the populace. The form he employs is highly creative and integral to portraying the Church as a monolithic and oppressive institution.

2005-02-19T12:00:00.000+08:00

The Garden of Love

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen:
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And "Thou shalt not" writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore;

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tombstones where flowers should be;
And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briers my joys and desires.

~William Blake

2005-01-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

Fanpiece for her Imperial Lord

O fan of white silk,
Clear as frost on the grass-blade,
You also are laid aside.

~Ezra Pound

2004-12-20T02:51:00.001+08:00

Super Size Me

2004-12-20T02:51:00.000+08:00

Ist Macs' at Shenzhen

2004-12-20T02:50:00.000+08:00

Aberdeen

2004-12-20T02:48:00.000+08:00

Repulse Bay..one of the houses in the background belongs to Jackie Chan.

2004-12-20T02:47:00.000+08:00

Taken on Victoria Peak

2004-12-20T02:30:00.000+08:00

One of my earlier poems

See The Art in Him

Feint answers or just my imagination?
A non-empirical being’s attempt at connecting?
My mind’s in a twirl
and the world seems to whirl.
Lost in the mundane and senseless routine of life,
I ask, “Where’s He leading me to?”
As night turns to dusk,
the reply seems to take an eternity.
Am I oblivious to Him?
For I see no art in Him.

~reptile

2004-12-18T13:46:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong, viewed from Kowloon

2004-12-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

Avenue of Stars

2004-12-18T12:42:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong, my fav city as of now.

2004-12-06T13:11:00.000+08:00

since my last entry, i ve gone tru my 5th exam in NUS n i can't describe enough the immense joy i had when the exams were over. It was not exactly healthy n inspiring to be cooped up in yr rm, labouring over tutorials, notes, worked examples, equations which were touched for the very first time(therein arose the despair n desperation), havin irregular meals n sleep(then again what sleep!), listening to self-deprecating songs(not all the times of course n by sheer will) and encapsulated by the bubble of uncertainties of life. i m glad to say tt my faith n ever-trustworthy frens have kept me sane and prevented me from self-mutilation, getting OD on aspirin or some other vile substances n other what-nots.

above all i think ive somewhat gained a new perspective of life...exams -> degree ->dream job -> money, status...do all these satisfy me? NAH...i ve no regard for all these n i m thankful tt i realise this now n not when i m caught in the web of materialism n bound by the secular world later on in life. so what really satisfies me? what is my purpose in living this seemingly wretched life? m i one of the hive? what is my passion n do i hav sth to fight for, to spur me on even in the darkest nights of my soul? no i m not getting philosophical but seriously arent these basic questions WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY no answers but r just bugged by them all our life. some pp choose to dismiss these questions n 'get on with life'. as one of my frens put it, "life sux, shit happens, get on wif yr f***ing life." well i wont simply be satisfied n get on wif life....life's already sad, what's the point of gettin on wif it when u dun noe what u r living for. lest my frens r worried tt i m gonna attempt sucide a la in the bk 'survivor' by chuck palahniuk by piloting an airplane to its demise(oh i m flyin to HK on the 8th), rest assured the point i m driving across is: i m not contented with life on earth(we will never be anyway).

all earthly things r temporal and what i need now is to find a cause, my passion, sth tt stirs me, spurs me n from which i derive joy, satisfaction, contentment n purpose. what will that be? i m clueless as of now but time will tell. meanwhile i wont spend time on spending time with meaningless pursuits. life has to be kept simple.

2004-11-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy?

2004-11-03T01:21:00.000+08:00

right this way. i'll lead the way. don't be afraid. and don't you tell. don't mind the dark. just close your eyes. don't be afraid. i'll lead the way. i won't tell. won't be afraid. right after you. just lead the way. i'll close my eyes. and let you lead. won't be afraid. and i won't tell. all this time. i've spent time on spending time with you. i've spent time on being bound for you. i was there for you. all will break. i swear that it'll break. and no one told me it will break. so down we fall. fall through it all. to reach for you. is to let you win.

all will break
~last days of april

2004-10-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

Song of the Moment: Pretty, Pretty by The Early November

Early in the morning, wake up to a bright blue sky
lightning comes at any time to break it down and make it ugly
i know that it's just for me
'cause no one else can feel or understand
that's alright because i can handle all that you throw down

And i hope you find a perfect place
where sky's are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty, pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no reason why you can't

It's all about the icing, and nobody cares about what's inside
you could see the outside face, it looks good, it must be great
and i know that's all you see
what would it matter anyway
'cause i can see right through your pretty, pretty skin today

And i hope you find a perfect place
where sky's are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty, pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no reason why you can't
and no reason why i should try to go on anymore
my reason's all gone, no reason why you should
try to make excuses to make me feel alright
excuses call for stupid reasons
and i know that it's not much that i can offer right now
just give me one little second and i will try my hardest
to make you feel like i'm someone else.

2004-10-21T12:27:00.000+08:00

Electrico

2004-10-21T03:30:00.000+08:00

Electrico!
Caught Electrico at UCC when they were performing for the ExxonMobilCampus Concert. Simply electrifying; i have more respect for local bands nowadays what with the plentitude of bands coming up: Observatory, Electrico, Parousia, Lunarin etc.

What made Electrico's performance so memorable was their rock vibe and their fun factor. They even broke into a bossa beat in the middle of a rock piece! Too bad the audience can't stand up n gyrate to the music. Electrico's certainly one band to look out for, so start supporting local bands! (Electrico's currently under Universal Records, as with Observatory)

After the performance @UCC, the evening of fun continued with the dnd bash @ cocolatte. turned out tt it was not as enjoyable cos of some hidcuups. well for one the place's not as happening as the clubs along the ms stretch. oh well, renhan mentioned tt it's not the place tt matters but the company. i certainly concur but it'd hav been better if the place's more crowded n the atmosphere more spiced up.

till the next dnd bash.

2004-10-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." (James 1:22)

I ve been learning a lot abt Him for the past few months through His Word, but I ve not put into practice what He has revealed to me. I chose to be tempted and God says,"but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed."(James 1:14) I put myself through unnecessary hurt, pain and troubles.

"When you pass through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." (Isaiah 43:2) I m really thankful that for all the wrong decisions that I ve made and thereby not putting faith in His Word, He has stood with me throughout my trials n tribulations. And "because testing of your faith develops perseverance", (James 1:3) I m glad tt at the same time I ve also learnt to persevere in His Word and ultimately find rest in His finished work. Praise God tt I ve emerged stronger and wiser. Amen

I m thankful for my spiritual father too. Many times I ve not listened to his advice and subjected myself through all the needless emotional struggle n turmoil. But he never once admonished me and even pulled me out from my quagmire. I certainly "consider it pure joy even though I m facing trials." (James 1:2) Thanks Teck. I wouldn't be able to go through all these without yr guidance.

2004-10-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

this week's been a raspberry swirl. there's simply so little time to just even take a breather, save monday when I watched 'the motorcycle diaries' and did some shopping. so little time..
well on the other hand the eh bazaar's been a fulfilling and welcome break from the monotony, drudgery and slavery of tutorials, lectures n projects. but wonder should I be glad cos I m not sure if I can handle the aftermath of the imminent or should I say on-going downward spiral. but what the heck! at least it takes my mind off certain issues..

time's a rather good weathering agent of emotions(of course the heart must be willin to let go) and I m glad that I m no longer impaled with that tingling thought of "should I hold on". but a new sense of freedom has gripped me and I can move on with my life in other areas esp music. praise Yud-hei-vav-hei.

till the next entry....meanwhile the bazaar's been a buzz.

2004-10-07T17:14:00.000+08:00

Heart's chord

Bitter-sweet memories flash by as Milla sings
The Violin strikes a chord in my Heart
She sings, " We had this dream locked behind these wicked thoughts;
you and I, we felt Pain."
I say, "It's your life, it's your soul and it's my Heart, it's my mind."
The Violin reverberates into the stills of the darkness
Waiting for the Day patiently to come,
when the Violin becomes an accompaniment to my soul

~reptile

2004-10-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

Bliss
Bendy the resident C4 pet just spawned 4 kittens again...

2004-10-05T10:04:00.000+08:00

Song playing in my head: Angel Youth by Last Days Of April

gather round. with you i hope it'll be here. although it doesn't dare to come near. i'll wait. every hour. i get a little closer. and just as i shall touch it. you call. i'm awake. the rest of you are sleeping. what if you will miss it. when it comes. glad for all. all the months it gave me. is there some way i can repay it. wish i could. i came so close this time. so close to find. what it once gave to me. let it pass. pass on to this new kid. i'll know just how he will feel. when it comes. and when he gathers round. his closest friends to see it. how i wish that they won't miss it. like you did.

Happy 21st Bday Jer! Though u r not here in S'pore celebrating yr bday with close frens, dun fret. I m sure u'd still hav a great time with yr xchange frens there! Revel in yr angel youth. =)

2004-10-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

I'm in Los Angeles today: It smells like an airport runway.
Jet fuel stenches in the cabin and lights flickering at random.
I'm in Los Angeles today:Garbage cans comprise the medians of freeways always creeping
even when the population's sleeping.
And I can't see why you'd want to live here.

I'm in Los Angeles today:Asked a gas station employee if he ever had trouble breathing
and he said, "It varies from season to season, kid."
It's where our best are on display:
motion picture actors' houses maps are never ever current,
so save your film and fifteen dollars.

And I can't see why you'd want to live here,
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings, "We are not perfect
but we sure try" as UV rays "degradate" our youth with time.
The vessel keeps pump us through this entropic place
the belly of the beast that is Californ-i-a,
I drank from the faucet and I kept my receipt
for when they weigh me on the way out (here nothing is for free).
The greyhounds keep coming dumping locusts into the street until the gutters overflow
and Los Angeles thinks,"I might explode someday soon."
It's a lovely summer's day and I can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.
Is this the city of angels or demons?
Here the names are what remain: stars encapsulate the gold lame and they need constant cleaning for when the tourists begin salivating.

And I can't see why you'd want to live here.
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings,
You can't swim in a town this shallow because you will most assuredly drown tomorrow.

Death Cab For Cutie - Why You'd Want To Live Here

why we'd want to live anyway? ...

2004-10-01T04:20:00.000+08:00

Band of the moment: Broken Social Scene
Song of the moment: Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old

Heard the sounds of this christian local band 'Parousia' today from my classmate, Kenric. Not bad for a made-in-s'pore set-up. Heart-felt lyrics praising the almighty Lord. Amen. Happens that Kenric is also in a band 'Absolutely Serious' doing lead vocals and I m dead serious that the band is a raw gem waitin to be polished. Woo hoo! Our mutual fren, Lyndon's also in the band. I was like wow! "So can I get advance autographs from u guys?"
To top the day, Alexan stumbled onto bands that I m into nowadays! Broken Social Scene, Last Days of April, The Postal Service, etc. I m glad that someone else shares similar musical interests in this land infested with mainstream pop-hip-hop-bubblegum rock.

"park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me..."

2004-09-28T00:00:00.001+08:00

Muse

Lift my pen, turn the pages, unfold my thoughts, write about her
Strum the guitar, diss the score, compose my ode, think about her
Write my journal, blow the candle, smother my pillow, dream about her
Lost in space, fight my tears, chill my heart, I like her

Undoubtedly, undeniably, uncontrollably, write about her
Indecisively, inevitably, incomprehensibly, think about her
Subconsciously, subliminally, subcognizantly, dream about her
Unrequited, starcrossed, unfettered, I like her

Heart's unwilling, faith's colliding, fate's twisting, I am patient

~reptile

2004-09-20T05:50:00.000+08:00

Lift my pen, turn the pages, unfold my thoughts, write about her.